The Real Truth, a magazine restoring plain understanding

Be a True Father!

By Michael H. Venish

June 10, 2010

Being a father is one of the most rewarding and exciting responsibilities a man can experience. Despite society’s reluctance to admit it, fathers undergird everything that is a family.

Yet the very foundation of this unit is under tremendous stress. In the last 45 years, the United States has become a world leader in fatherless families, accompanied by Britain and other nations.

U.S. Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan wrote in his report to the Lyndon B. Johnson presidential administration, “From the wild Irish slums of the 19th century Eastern seaboard, to the riot-torn suburbs of Los Angeles, there is one unmistakable lesson in American history: a community that allows a large number of young men to grow up in broken families, dominated by women, never acquiring any stable relationship to male authority, never acquiring any set of rational expectations about the future…that community asks for and gets chaos, crime, violence, unrest, disorder.”

There is a cause for every effect! In this case, a lack of leadership from caring, loving fathers underlies much of society’s troubles.

Lonely Children

The United States National Center for Health Statistics revealed, “Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse, mental illness, suicide, poor educational performance, teen pregnancy, and criminality.”

The Fatherhood Initiative reported that a Journal of Behavioral Medicine study of 700 adolescents “found that compared to families with two natural parents living in the home, adolescents from single-parent families have been found to engage in greater and earlier sexual activity.”

On the other hand, children who have supportive fathers are more likely to be better students, build healthy relationships and be less prone to depression.

“Overall, more than 75 percent of American children are at risk because of paternal deprivation,” Henry B. Biller wrote in The Father Factor. “Even in two-parent homes, fewer than 25 percent of young boys and girls experience an average of at least one hour a day of relatively individualized contact with their fathers.”

Are you a true father? Do you fully understand your role in the family?

A Father’s Work

As a father, you must be a major influence in your children’s lives. You must not wrap yourself up in your work, hobbies or sports. Your responsibilities as a father must rise above personal interests.

Regardless of secular opinion, the Bible teaches that a father’s role is to be the loving head of his home—the leader of his wife and children—the strong foundation upon which they stand.

Fathers, be sure to lead by example. Teach your family to have respect for each other. Build happy memories with your children by spending time with them. Tell them about your childhood, where you grew up, what your father did. Tell them about the meals your mother cooked, the adventures you had as a child. Use these precious moments to expand their thinking by teaching them lessons you learned from your past.

Do not allow society to diminish your role as a father. Whether or not you are in a traditional two-parent family, one of the most precious things a father can give to his children is time. You (with their mother) are the only real investment for your children—not toys, cellphones, television or video games.

Turn off the TV! Watching television with your family can be entertaining, but it does not promote quality family interaction. Rather, play board games, ask for their input about an upcoming vacation, plan a picnic, or grow a garden.

As a father, take the lead. Keep it light and have fun.

In his book, Train Your Children God’s Way, David C. Pack details the importance of the special bonds fathers develop with their sons and daughters.

“Fathers, strive to always be a hero to your son(s). Be sure that he can always look up to your example…It has been shown that positive father role models produce sons who are both generally more sound in thinking and better at overall problem-solving. An example of strength and maturity displayed by you will reappear later in your sons.”

Concerning daughters, Mr. Pack writes, “It has been said that girls tend to marry men who are most like their fathers. This makes being a good father more crucial than meets the eye. It is not unusual for abused girls to marry abusive men. The daughters of warm, kind, patient, wise and loving fathers generally look for the same qualities in prospective mates.”

Prove to yourself that you are, in every sense, a true father and be an example to your children.

For more about a father’s crucial role in the family, read Train Your Children God’s Way.